Marriage can be an awesome thing. You pledge yourself to another for, what is supposed to be, the rest of your lives. You seek a partner that you are compatible with, physically and emotionally attracted to, share common interests, and is a friend. After all, this union of love and commitment is between YOU and your SPOUSE.
How often is it that “family” members intrude? I’ve heard stories of two people being in love yet, one side or the other’s family or a family member, does not like this person. And so the pressure begins to “break” the couple up. Sometimes the family member(s) win and the couple breaks up. Other times, the love the couple has for one another continues to flourish, despite unhappy and meddling family member(s).
The couple who can endure all the ridicule, pressure from family to dissolve your relationship, to me, is a committed couple. This is a couple, a marriage, that is going to last (at least from the pressures outside their relationship). This, imo, is what marriage is about.
When you say “I DO”, it is to that ONE person, NOT their FAMILY.
However, there are a lot of people out there that either value the opinions of their family and don’t want to anger or disappoint them, those that would lose an inheritance because of their union to an un-liked spouse, and those who simply put family (immediate) as a priority over their spouse.
In my past, I dated men that my Father did not approve of. It never stopped me, as it was MY life. He chose who he wanted as a spouse. I was free to choose whom I wanted. There were men I dated who my friends didn’t approve of. Never stopped me, again, as it was my life to choose.
People who choose marriage or a civil union, please remember…..the commitment you pledge is to ONE ANOTHER, not the entire FAMILY. Family does matter to an extent, to what degree, is totally up to you. Only the couple involved truly knows one another. What a family member might see or perceive, may not be true. Their site may be blinded for whatever reason (ie, a controlling mother who doesn’t want to let go of their son, or a controlling father who thinks no one is good enough for his daughter, or a jealous sibling).
What truly matters is, YOU and your chosen PARTNER, are truly happy and committed to one another. Do not let family meddle into your affairs and ruin what you have. In the long run, your PARTNER/SPOUSE in life is the one who will be there with you, through thick and thin. They are the one who “has your back”. They are the ones who know you for who you are every day, not what you once were.
And don’t get me wrong, family is important, they just need to know their place!
When I said “I DO”, it was to my HUSBAND, not his family. When he said “I DO”, it was to me, not to my family (what little I have left).
Marriage is a union between TWO people who LOVE one another and commit to each other for life. If you are an unhappy family member meddling into a couples life, STOP and think what you are doing. What you are TRULY doing. You may just be pushing your loved one away.
Now I’d like to hear from you, what are your thoughts? Would you ever let a family member intrude to the point of breaking up your relationship? Do you value your commitment to your spouse or partner more than your commitment to your “immediate” family?